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[Saturday, May 27 @ 11:01am] |
NEW JOURNAL :]
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) denisey_baby
add it!
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[Thursday, May 18 @ 10:27pm] |
so theres a new boy in my life.
and he is completely wonderful :]
everytime were talking i cant help but get the biggest smile on my face, and the littlest butterflies in my stomach.
Ive been hanging out with brittany a lot lately
shes a fun girl now :]
Lauren is coming up again tomorrow, I'm really excited, I'm happy that things are working out between the 2 of them. They're so cute together :]
I have to work tomorrow, which sucks, I hate my job.
And I'm a dumbass and blow every paycheck on things I don't even need.
I might have to buy a dress for prom, and of course I'm broke.
My mom said they won't be able to help me a lot because they are alreay paying a ton for me and Shelby for pom.
Oh yeah, try outs were last Friday, I had to go twice and I was soo nervous, I messed up a couple times, but kept smiling. I like pom a lot, but I also miss all my girls from cheerleading. I wish all of them the best of luck at try outs tomorrow! :]
Tomorrow I have to go look for a dress for prom.
I have a lot of things to do by next Thursday.
But, it's not a for sure thing yet, so maybe not.
Hope everyone has a good weekend :]
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| to whom it may concern. |
[Monday, May 8 @ 10:18pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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music |
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rise against- swing life away (our old song =/) |
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girl whatever you do, dont let that kid go, because you will regret for the rest of your life. I dont want you to hate me, and even if you do, this will be the best advice I ever give you, dont let him go. He came over today and it was great, we just talked and we didnt fight like we used to, but when I walked in the house I bawled my eyes out, because I realized that I'm not in love with him anymore, yeah he's still the guy, with gorgeous blue eyes and a smile to die for, but he's not the the guy that I fell in love with over a year ago. I fell in love with the guy that used to buy me flowers, and we could spend hours just sitting at our old spot, not the kid that smokes all the time, and quits his job, kind of guy that he is now. Of course he is still more amazing than anything and can make me crack a smile, but he's changed so much. And it's the guy that your falling for now, so just dont let him go girl, trust me, you'll never forgive yourself.
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[Saturday, May 6 @ 11:21am] |
waste your time with your friends,
live for the moment, laugh often. be immature,
do anything.. if its something you'll
regret in the morning; sleep late.
when you wake up, laugh about it
with your friends
because friends are what matter
Sing loud in the shower,
Dance often in the rain
Love truly,
And laugh until your stomach hurts.
Do whatever it takes,
But don't regret anything that made you smile
mmm. i love my friends, especially old ones.
like maia bear, shes amazing, ive missed her.
:D
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[Wednesday, March 22 @ 8:29pm] |
i think i finally realized that its not yOu that i miss..
its the text messages i use to get randomly..and
the extra hours i would stay up just to talk to you..
the phone calls late at night when you had to much
to drink..the way you lo ok ed at me like you wanted me
at that very second..yea its not you that i miss..its the
feeling of someone who use to care about me is what i miss
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[Monday, March 13 @ 10:22pm] |
because i thought that you would see me as everyone else does. another teenage whore.
so when i dont open up to you, dont take it personally.<
im so used to people judging me on the way that i act and look,
that I don't think that I could ever meet someone that would want to know everything about me,
my feelings. so that night when you said "open up" was the first time that someone said that too me,
and expected me to share how I was feeling.
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[Sunday, January 1 @ 10:45pm] |
So, please, just be patient. I'm so
afraid to care about someone. I know it
seems like I'm this strong girl who can
get through everything, but inside I'm
very fragile. I've had so many things
thrown at me, & each one has only made
a crack. What I'm afraid of is shattering.
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| The Story Of My Life . . |
[Saturday, December 17 @ 1:55pm] |
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her shirts get lower as her pants get tighter. she cant help but throw herself into the arms of any guy that gives her the time of day. she has the ability to fake everything behind a smile. she forgets everything drinks enough to relax. she surrounds herself with people she calls friends and pretends that shes oblivious to the things they whisper behind her back. she acts like nothing bothers her and holds her head up high. people hate her because they think they know everything about her. but theyre wrong. she sits alone in her room with the music turned up so loud that she doesnt have to hear herself think. she avoids her family by sleeping all the time. she throws herself into novels where so she can pretend shes someone else. she cries herself to sleep while her memories play like nightmares. every morning she wakes up to the same song and masks on the same layer of makeup. and everything repeats itself. shes hit rock bottom.
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[Thursday, December 8 @ 10:20pm] |
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mood |
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 cranky |
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music |
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SAOSIN |
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I don’t want to fallow the cliché act and not be friends with you just because you are my ex boyfriend. Because I liked you back when we went out, and I still like you now. Just not in the same way. I don’t want to feel awkward when I hang out with your friends and you hang out with mine. I don’t want to act like I don’t see you in the halls, and you don’t see me. Because you are still the person my eyes spot first in the halls, and don’t deny that your eyes always search for mine. We make eye contact, just so we can break it. I even wouldn’t mind if you still came over occasionally and made fun of me when I said something stupid. I guess what I am trying to say is that I might still like you a little. Not the type of like where I want you to be my boyfriend. But the type of like where I want you in my life, to tell me everything will be all right. Because you always put the spark in my life that made me hold on just a little bit longer. I miss that spark. Baby, I don’t think you understand, but I want it back.
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[Thursday, December 8 @ 3:25pm] |
things that make life worth living;
falling in love, hearing your favorite song on the radio, lying in bed and listening to the rain outside, milkshakes, bubble baths, giggling, long convo's late at night, the beach, running through sprinklers, laughing at an inside joke, laughing at yourself, laughing so hard your stomach hurts, laughing for absolutely no reason at all, just plain laughing, having somone tell you you're beautiful, friends, accidentally hear someone say something nice about you, waking up and realizing that you still have a few more hours to sleep, first kisses, making new friends or spending time with old ones, playing with a new puppy, sweet dreams, hot chocolate, road tirps with someone you care about, watching the sun rise, watching a sunset, getting out of bed in the morning and looking out the window to see that it's sunny, birds chirping, knowing that someone misses you, getting a hug from somone you care about deeply, knowing you've done the right thing, being in the arms of the one you love, getting all pretty, walking in the rain, dancing in the rain, kissing in the rain, recieving roses, the first snow ofthe winter, eating ice cream, going to the movies, making a fool of yourself and not caring because you're having too much fun, friday's, saying i love you, hearing i love you, cuddling, pictures that remind you of good memories, good memories that you think back to and smile.
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[Sunday, December 4 @ 7:05pm] |
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mood |
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 worried |
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music |
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Hey There Delilah - Plain White T's |
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I hate that I miss you, and when I start thinking, the first thing I think of is what's going on, and how I haven't really thought of you 'cuz I've been with my friends, and been at practice so much, and actually concentrating on my grades. Then I REALLY start thinking, and I know that I'm not okay, because your not with me anymore. It's not even the fact that your "with" her or, not "with" me, it's the fact that were not even friends that really gets me upset. I know what he's doing, he's done this every other time, he competely shuts me out of his life. Doesn't call, doesn't IM me, doesn't text me, completely ignores the fact that I'm alive, deletes everything of mine off of his myspace .. it's like he's trying to make it seem like I'm not there at all .. just to get over us. I miss him, I miss kissing him, I miss him holding me, I miss the scent of him, the way his sheets feel on my back, the way his hands felt against my skin, I miss the way he would tell stories, or stutter when he didn't know how to say something he really wanted to say, I miss everything .. He's so amazing. I act like I hate the girl he's about to go out with, and I don't know a thing about her, talk about being jealous. It's so stupid, I hate myself for it. She's actually really pretty, and if he makes her happy that is honestly all I want. I just want for him to be happy, I know I could've made him happy && I did for a while, but I messed up once, and it was bad enough to never let things go back to normal. He's suffered enough and I need to just let go and let him move on. I love him so much, and I just hope he realizes it, and understands how much I honestly do care, and how sorry I am. It's too bad, that everything I did to try and show him I cared, never got through to him .. I hope he's doing alright, and he's safe, and healthy and happy. I wish them the best of luck with their new relationship that they might have. I just wish him the most luck with everything he does in life. I know he's going to do great things. He's amazing.
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[Wednesday, October 26 @ 6:05pm] |
Who's gonna catch me when I fall
It may seem I have everything
But everything means nothing
When the ride that you've been on
That you're coming off
Leaves you feeling lost
Is anybody out there
Does anybody see
That sometimes loneliness is just a part of me
♥♠♥♠♥
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[Wednesday, September 28 @ 6:15am] |
So the night we first really talked, do you remember what we stared at && talked about?
..the stars..
Before I sleep every night, or when I walk home thinking about you
I look up to the black sky and stare at the blanket of stars
Now I've realized why bother making a wish
When they died a million years ago
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[Sunday, September 25 @ 1:04pm] |
no camera could ever capture the look in her eyes && the feeling in her heart when she looks at him.
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